This is my view - my interpretation of what it means to feel devotion...
Devotion to my Kundalini comes in the form of devotion to my teacher. Some of the feelings that have occurred for me when doing the trataka are a deep longing to be near my teacher, a yearning towards completion and now when I look back it seems to me I was into bliss yet since I knew nothing of bliss it appeared to me to be a great yearning or longing. It never took long to fall into the emotional upheaval that I felt when I looked at the picture for trataka. There was always a connection to the teacher. My entire life evolved around my devotion and love for my teacher.
It was not until we did devotion in person that I realized the feelings I had been feeling with the trataka were true devotion and adoration. This is what had been missing for me. With the physical devotion things came together for me. I long - it is a physical pain at times- to be at the feet of the teacher. I have said that is where I feel my home is.
Some will not understand this, they will see it as a misguided placement of devotion. The devotion to the teacher is a devotion to the teacher’s grace. It is a devotion to one's own grace as well. In my mind they all get meshed together, for in my mind chrism's Kundalini and my Kundalini are one and the same and unique and different at the same time. It is much easier for me to bow down to my flesh teacher. The teacher is here and real - I do understand the differences and the sameness.
Today there is a different feeling for me in terms of my teacher. When he gives me feedback it is abit more accepted. The teacher has his way of doing things and it has taken me a while to understand this and to accept all he does as good for my process. My ego is more willing to step back and follow the guidance. Am not perfect yet am closer to fully surrendering to all that is given.
Devotion and surrender and trust all can be developed by doing the trataka. Often times I feel as if chrism is talking to me his eyes move, his mouth moves and he smiles. Then of course from the beginning there were the visits by so many chrisms. The face, eyes and hair all change. It was like going back in time seeing the many faces of the teacher. Never saw him as a female but did see him as a lion once. And some of the faces came back over and over. This is an event – for the devotional feeling is what truly helps move the Kundalini to a new place.
It was not easy for me to be in devotion at first yet I do remember being devotional when younger. Now it has so much more meaning for I know that I have been gifted with Kundalini and it is real, tangible and all of me wants to give my Kundalini all that I am. This is one way to connect to the Kundalini- it is one that can be performed alone or in a group. Either way there are many benefits. Each of us will find the benefits that we need to find.
Gratitude to chrism for allowing me to view his picture and to offer devotion in person to his Kundalini.
Namaste
Devotion to my Kundalini comes in the form of devotion to my teacher. Some of the feelings that have occurred for me when doing the trataka are a deep longing to be near my teacher, a yearning towards completion and now when I look back it seems to me I was into bliss yet since I knew nothing of bliss it appeared to me to be a great yearning or longing. It never took long to fall into the emotional upheaval that I felt when I looked at the picture for trataka. There was always a connection to the teacher. My entire life evolved around my devotion and love for my teacher.
It was not until we did devotion in person that I realized the feelings I had been feeling with the trataka were true devotion and adoration. This is what had been missing for me. With the physical devotion things came together for me. I long - it is a physical pain at times- to be at the feet of the teacher. I have said that is where I feel my home is.
Some will not understand this, they will see it as a misguided placement of devotion. The devotion to the teacher is a devotion to the teacher’s grace. It is a devotion to one's own grace as well. In my mind they all get meshed together, for in my mind chrism's Kundalini and my Kundalini are one and the same and unique and different at the same time. It is much easier for me to bow down to my flesh teacher. The teacher is here and real - I do understand the differences and the sameness.
Today there is a different feeling for me in terms of my teacher. When he gives me feedback it is abit more accepted. The teacher has his way of doing things and it has taken me a while to understand this and to accept all he does as good for my process. My ego is more willing to step back and follow the guidance. Am not perfect yet am closer to fully surrendering to all that is given.
Devotion and surrender and trust all can be developed by doing the trataka. Often times I feel as if chrism is talking to me his eyes move, his mouth moves and he smiles. Then of course from the beginning there were the visits by so many chrisms. The face, eyes and hair all change. It was like going back in time seeing the many faces of the teacher. Never saw him as a female but did see him as a lion once. And some of the faces came back over and over. This is an event – for the devotional feeling is what truly helps move the Kundalini to a new place.
It was not easy for me to be in devotion at first yet I do remember being devotional when younger. Now it has so much more meaning for I know that I have been gifted with Kundalini and it is real, tangible and all of me wants to give my Kundalini all that I am. This is one way to connect to the Kundalini- it is one that can be performed alone or in a group. Either way there are many benefits. Each of us will find the benefits that we need to find.
Gratitude to chrism for allowing me to view his picture and to offer devotion in person to his Kundalini.
Namaste
